The Teaching Thing Part Two

Every Sunday I ask the kids what they learned in Sunday School that morning. Partly for their own retention. Partly for comic relief.

Last Sunday Parker said he didn't learn anything. They just had to guess stuff.

"Oh really?" I said.

"Yeah. Like I guessed that God made a dolphin and so I got a treat."

You can always tell a teacher is really good when the kids don't even realize that they are learning.

So then Parker turns to Peyton and asks her if she remembers when God made the water split apart. Here's Parker's version of Exodus...

Yes. God split the water so that Moses' people could walk across it. Yes. And then he turned the stick into a snake, and God sent the bugs...

"Why did God send bugs?" I asked.

Because. The king was being very mean. He was being selfish. He was making the people work work work. So God sent the bugs.

Do you think that God would send bugs to my school? Because I am getting tired of all this work work work, too.

"Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say." --Exodus 4:12

The Teacher Thing

I knew this day was coming.

Since Pat and I are both teachers and coaches, and since the kids have pretty much been raised in the bleachers and hallways of the school, I shouldn't be suprised that Peyton has started to pretend teach.

She trolls around on her fire truck, picks up every toy, piece of paper, blanket, pillow, peice of trash on the floor, and says:

"What color is this?"

Since we are a house of near genius, we almost always get the answer right. It is rewarded with:

"[Color]. Goooood," in a high, shrilly voice.

Sunday night I noticed her pick up a small but thick book, perch behind her miniature table, and say:

"Now. This is Bible Study. Who made an apple? [no answer, as we had all begun to tune her out after a day of color quizzing] God. Gooood."

Lord help her students.

"A student is not better than the teacher, but the student who has been fully trained will be like the teacher." --Luke 6:40

The Daycation Thing

There are vacations, staycations, and daycations. That's what you call a one day trip to San Antonio to see your sister Denise.

We were actually there a weekend, but Weekendcation just didn't have the same ring to it.

Don't think that I have even started to think that it is okay for Denise to be over four hours away from us, but we had a GREAT time in San Antonio. You all should try it--it really is a nice city even if those people down there did steal my sister from us here in Arlington.

We weren't able to leave until later Saturday afternoon when our freshmen volleyball tournament was over. But the whole trip began much sooner. We started packing our bags on Friday night. Parker and Peyton love to go on trips, and they really get into packing. I let them help out, and it soon became apparant that all they planned to do in San Antonio was play with magnetics and barbies, and read books. In their swimming suits.

We got to Denise's apartment about 8 pm, and by that time my voice was completely gone. I couldn't squeek out a single word--which the kids thought was great, by the way--so I, for once, let Denise talk.

The next morning we woke up and Denise and I went for a run while Pat took the kids to the park. She has the most awesome park with running/biking/hiking trails. We had to run single file, as the trails were narrow and winding, and since I could barely talk by Sunday morning, it's not like we were missing out on any conversation. Denise led because she knew where she was going, and a couple of ladies warned us about a rattlesnake that they saw on the back trails. Since I was born first, I thought I'd let her see the rattler first. Plus, how was I supposed to look out for a 20 foot long snake when I was navigating the terrain scatterred with tree roots, rocks, and 10 foot drop-offs?

I really did about bite it one time, and some parts of the trail were so steep and rocky we had to walk up and down the embankments.

We went to the riverwalk and had Mexican for lunch, fed any creature that would come near us, and played in the fountains.

After lunch we all went to the children's museum. The kids built stuff did scientific/learn-y things, but the best part was Pat in a wig. There was a play bank, a pretend H-E-B grocery store, a cow that they milked and produced water (gasp!), an airplane, a pretend dentist office, an old-fashioned mercantile...we all had a good time. Even Pippy over there.

We went back to Denise's and I decided I'd better get some drugs because my sinuses were making my teeth hurt. So Denise and I went to Walgreens for some cold medicine and the nail salon for pedicures. Just for good measure. A little extra pampering never hurt anybody.

The kids had to swim, and even though it's still in the upper 80's in San Antonio in the middle of October, that water was cold. Parker swam until his lips were blue--a whole 15 minutes. Peyton, Denise and I wisely chose to watch from the sidelines.

Sunday night Denise took us to a wing place down the street that I think was called Cheers because they knew her by name. They also knew a guy named Hank, who we never saw but for a few hours Saturday night because apparently down here in Texas high school football is more important than seeing your significant other's family.

By Sunday night we were all spent. We woke up when Denise went to inservice Monday morning and went to Chic-Fil-A for breakfast. Parker said, "Where are all the kids?" Well, their mommies and daddies don't get them up at the crack of dawn for playtime. We stopped at the drive-thru zoo on our way out of town and saw some freaky ostriches (and cool zebras, giraffe, buffalo, gazelles), got some GOOD Rudy's BBQ in Waco, and were home by 4 pm. A great day(ortwo)cation.

As gross as my sinuses were by the end of the weekend, it was so good to see Denise, her place, her town, and hey, even Hank for a little while. For the record, however, I'd like it to be known that should she choose to move back closer, I wouldn't have to dream of stupid names for our weekend trips to see her.

Denise, you did good, girl. Winks :)

The Staycation Thing

One of the things that I really love about living around here is that there is always something to do if you want to do it. Not that there isn't a plenty to do right here within these four walls...but sometimes a girl's gotta get out, you know?

You just don't have those kind of options in Nebraska. You have football or volleyball games, or you gotta get out the hayrack for fall entertainment up there. Not that I'm knocking the bonfire/hayrack ride. Good times. But most of the times that I was near a hayrack, I was more likely to be throwing bales from the field.

So this fall we have been to the Texas State Fair. This might be one of my favorite things about the fall. I love Big Tex. I love corny dogs. I love The Spririt of the Horse, and the Dog Shows are beginning to grow on me. We always go on the weekend, so often there are very few animal exhibits there, as most of the shows are during the week. But you can usually still smell their remnants, and to me, that's okay.

I miss the smells of the country. One morning this past summer I was out running and I smelled my Grandma. Really. I got a whiff of the dairy/dog/powdered milk/hay/chicken poop that was the aura and essence of my Grandma. I don't know where it came from, or how it got to southeast Arlington, but it was good.

As we were near the end of our stay this year, a wonderful and kind man gave Pat his extra tickets. There were way more than we could use; we let Parker and Peyton each choose a ride, as this year they were both big enough to ride. See?

They chose to ride the airplane. Parker loved it. Peyton did not.

The last thing on the agenda was to watch the "Spirit of the Horse" show. When we got to the arena, they were about to start the Pee-Wee Stampede. If you have never had the pleasure, folks, you are missing some genuine entertainment. Peyton was all about hopping in that arena and throwing on a cowboy hat. Parker, on the other hand, only agreed after some gentle persuading.

Like, "You're not doing this? Are you sure? Peyton is doing this? You're really not going to do this and your little sister is doing this?" I know, not a great moment in parenting, but it got him out there.

And then Peyton chickened out.

Parker was a bull rider and he scored an 85 (who are these judges?!?) and won a lovely yellow participation ribbon.

The Cleaning Thing

I have walked in through our front door for weeks now, totally disgusted with our front yard. The too-tall grass. The dying plants. The overgrown shrubs. Ick.

Yet I was waaay too lazy to do a darn thing about it. Until today.

I spent most of the afternoon trimming and cutting and digging and raking and bagging the old, dirty, unwanted dead plants. And as I was finishing up, I thought to myself...hmmm, this killin' things and shoving it in bags is some good stuff.

Before you label me a sociopath, let me defend myself; I've had somewhat of a tumultuous ride these past few months. After Dad died in July, and then a couple of weeks ago I had the dusting and cleaning, I've been feeling a little sorry for myself. And I really wish that I could cut and bag the crap that has been hanging over me.

Because here's what I thought I learned through Dad's death:
1. God has a plan, and it's way more perfect than mine, it's way more complete than mine, and He doesn't need to consult me...He's got it figured out already.
2. God doesn't make mistakes. We do. A lot. But He doesn't.

But apparently I'm remedial and He needed to re-teach. It's like that big long formula you learn in trig or calculus or physics or chemistry--you know, those smart classes--and you know you know the formula because you've seen it and you've worked with it before, but when it comes time for the test, you can't figure out how to make it fit your problem. And then you get all anxious and nervous and stressed because you know you are going to FAIL FAIL FAIL.

That's pretty much been me the last couple of weeks. Trying to figure out how to make it fit. And worried that failure is for sure around the corner.

But I know that the formula still exists; I know that God's plan is still the same and that He'll get us there. And that we can get there from here. He knows just where I am in that plan, and I don't have to know or understand.

The front yard looks much better. I rearranged some of the plants, dug up some cannas that just didn't look right and put the bulbs in a box in the shed so I can re-plant them in the back next spring. Getting them out of the way made room for the smaller plants in the bed. There is still life there, and it looks good.

My own dusting and cleaning made room for me to see this:
1. That I have been so blessed with an awesome husband and two precious children. Do you know how much I have told them that I love them in the past two weeks? A lot.
2. That I have such incredible and supportive friends. Friends who will listen, and friends who will put things into proper perspective for me.

There is life here, and it is good.

The Amazing Potion Thing

For most of his almost five years of life, Parker has wanted to be a football player when he grows up. One day this summer, for reasons beyond my comprehension, Parker announced that his days of dreaming of football were over. Just like that. Before he donned a single set of pads or a helmet, before he was flattened and left for dead in the dust, Parker's relationship with football as we knew it would be over. Just like that.

Instead, he told me from his car seat in the back of my car, he would be an inventor kid.

I promise we have NEVER watched Harry Potter. Not once.

I really really dislike science, especially chemistry, so where he found this notion I will never know. But he is running with it.

One night about a month ago, he took a small cup, filled it with water in the bathroom, and placed it gently on the window sill in our front entry-way.

When asked what in the world he was doing, Parker matter-of-factly replied that he was making "depotion"; in other, normal, words, I think he meant, "the potion." He told me that the water would turn into magic potion "from the moonlight."


One Friday night--it was the night that we were expecting to be blown away from Hurricane Ike--Parker put his glass of water on the window sill. When he woke on Saturday morning, the water had turned green!

Pat said that when he discovered his water had turned into green magic potion, he threw his hands in the air, jumped up and down, and screamed, "I did it! I'm an inventor-kid!"

This is Parker explaining what made the experiment work:

1. mix together hot water and cold water.

2. put the water in the window on a Friday night.

3. make sure there is a storm comin' outside.

If I liked science in the least, I would be so proud.